That Ain't My Truck
by ChloeMcIntyre1986
Summary: This is a Babe songfic in Joe's POV. Steph has been dating Joe and Ranger in order to decide between them. Who will she choose in the end and who will end up heartbroken? Rated T for language.


Okay, so muse decided that instead of inspiring new chapters in my ongoing stories, she would inspire me to write this song fic. Thanks to Jaime (ShesGotHighHopes) for editing. I do not own these characters or the song 'That Ain't My Truck'.

**ENJOY!!!**

**That Ain't My Truck**

Joe Morelli was sitting all alone in his house on a Saturday night. Now, normally, this was an unusual occurrence for Joe, but he was waiting for a call from his girlfriend, Stephanie Plum. You see recently, Stephanie had decided that in order to make a real choice between Joe and Ranger, she would date both of them in order to decide who it was that she really loved since she had feelings for both men. She had told them on Thursday that by Saturday she would have a decision and would let them know who she was choosing once and for all. So here Joe sat waiting for the call from his girl, his whole world. Finally, when the clock struck eleven, he wondered if that call was ever going to come. He decided it was time to be proactive.

He drove the ten minutes it usually took to get to Steph's apartment in five minutes flat. He parked by the dumpster cursing the fact that he seemed to have inherited Steph's parking karma. He walked towards the depilated building and was almost to the door leading to the lobby when he spotted a sight that made him curse…in English _and Italian. _Parked in the parking space closest to the lobby door was a sight he'd really been hoping not to see.

…Ranger's black Ford Bronco Truck…

"Scopata!" he cursed in Italian.

_She's been goin' out with him  
She's been goin' out with me  
Said she'd let us know by tonight  
Which one it would be  
So I waited by the phone  
But she never called me up  
Had to know what was goin' on  
So, I drove by her house -- and sure enough_

_That ain't my truck_

Joe continued to curse silently to himself. Then because apparently, he was a glutton for punishment, he looked up at Steph's bedroom window. There in the dim evening light he could make out the shadows of Stephanie and…Ranger. Shit, he thought to himself, looks like she's made her choice. This just is not my day, he grumbled to himself. Joe's mood continued to spiral downward as he heard Steph say clear as day, "Carlos, I love you. I choose _**you**_."

Joe just sighed as he heard Ranger reply with simply a, "Babe."

Of course to anyone who truly knew Ranger this clearly translated to, "Babe, I love you, too."

_That ain't my truck in her drive  
Man this ain't my day tonight  
Looks like she's in love and I'm out of luck  
That ain't my shadow on her wall  
Lord this don't look good at all  
That's my girl -- my whole world  
But that ain't my truck_

Joe walked back to his own truck and just sat in it trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. He had loved Steph with all his heart—wasn't that enough? What had Ranger done that made her chose him? What had Ranger done right that he had so clearly done wrong? Then the answer hit him clear in the chest like a ton of bricks. Ranger let her fly, Ranger encouraged her dreams. Oh, sure Ranger took every precaution she would allow to make her safe, but he never tried to stop her. He never tried to turn her into something she was not. Joe had, he admitted to himself, tried to turn her into a clone of her mother and her sister. The one thing Steph did not want to be, and he had pushed her to be exactly that. He was an idiot, and clearly, his plans had backfired. She had chosen Ranger, and that was that.

For a brief flash of time, Joe thought of storming her apartment to convince her that he could change, that he WOULD change. That he would let her fly, that he would stop with the yelling and the lectures. After a few minutes of those types of thoughts, Joe realized that it would be fruitless. No matter what he said, he knew that in the end, she would still pick Ranger. Joe decided that he would leave with his dignity intact, and graciously concede his loss to Ranger.

_One week later…_

Ranger was in his office a week later doing some paperwork when he received a knock on his door. Tank walked in and dropped a rather large package with a card on it on his desk and left. Ranger studied the package which held no evidence of who it was from. He opened the card, which bore a simple message.

**Ranger,**

**She chose you, so I am going to respect that.**

**Consider this card a flag of surrender.**

**She's all yours, Manoso.**

**Take care of my girl.**

**-J.M.**

**P.S. You might need what's in this package. I know I did.**

Ranger let out a bark of laughter as he opened the package to find a case of Maalox. Joe was right; he would definitely need what was in this package if he was going to survive life with Stephanie Plum also known as Babe, Cupcake, and the Bombshell Bounty Hunter.

_I pulled over by the curb  
I've been sittin' here all night  
Wonderin' what it was I did so wrong  
That he did so right  
I've thought of breakin' down her door  
But there's nothin' left to say  
That Chevy four-by-four  
Says it all sittin' in my place _

That ain't my truck in her drive  
Man this ain't my day tonight  
Looks like she's in love and I'm out of luck  
That ain't my shadow on her wall  
Lord this don't look good at all  
That's my girl -- my whole world  
But that ain't my truck

That ain't my shadow on her wall  
Lord this don't look good at all  
That's my girl -- my whole world  
But that ain't my truck  
That's my girl -- my whole world  
But that ain't my truck 

**The End!!**

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